oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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