Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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