Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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