So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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