she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
