At least make sure they are 18
Why
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
