I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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