Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
