So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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