end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
