he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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