based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i think my cat just said my name.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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