its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
