yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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