Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
