I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
