so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
