Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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