I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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