If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
