Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
