are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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