I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
