She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
