We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your penis caused this!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
