The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
