ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize