drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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