Buhtt sex?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
