honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
