i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
farters have to be the big spoon...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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