Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
