Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
