I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize