look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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