dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
