i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
