so let's talk penis.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
