im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
