they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We have started to decorate penises.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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