NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
