so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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