i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
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