areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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