People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
