Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
