He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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