I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize