That's intense
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
