Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
