and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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