just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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