It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
