I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
