That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
