i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
