Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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