No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize