quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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