You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
