p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
