I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
