just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
