Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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